another letter to Tallinn

Nem tudom elküldjem-e, ha igen, akkor milyen csatornán. Nem akarom zaklatni, hisz nyáron sem találkoztunk, ezt a levelet inkább magam miatt írtam. Hogy 4 év után valóra vált két álmom is és az Erasmus is folyamatban. Hogy a pécsi kudarcok után talpra álltam, és bár néhány emberrel továbbra sem tudok megbarátkozni a Külkeren, jók a jegyeim és megnyertem a helyi TDK-m- Hogy végre van egy Tanárom, aki bízik bennem és más tanároknál is "jó hírnevem" van. Hogy ott a KEKSZ a Lányokkal, meg az edzőterem és hogy smink nélkül, törölközővel a hátamon s végig merek merek menni a folyosón és hogy a tárcám ellopása se vette el a mozgás örömét. És hogy bár fáradt vagyok, karikásak a szemeim, és néha földhöz vágom a könyveim, meg egy-két óra urán sírva jövök haza, DE újra van hitem, álmaim, Önbizalmam!
Az alázatot pedig tanulom (legalábbis próbálom) folyamatosan és minden este imádkozom érte. És hálás vagyok az Úrnak. Mindenért. És ez a legszebb karácsonyi ajándékom. 

Íme a levél:

You may have read that this summer I had the opportunity to visit Tallinn and I was not disappointed at all, you city is as beautiful as on postcards or even more. J

Another dream of mine has also come true: we spent one night together with the guy from the Sports faculty, he is now working as a Sports teacher and hand ball trainer in his hometown.

As for me, I have left my beloved EUROPE Ltd as I wish to focus on my studies and to write my thesis so as to finish on time and do not have to pay for studies. Since now, I have only excellent marks, I still dislike some b*tches at university, but I do enjoy what I learn and I have won the first prize in the University round int he framework of a competition with my essay on France’s point of view about the Turkish EU accession.

The greatest dream of me is also going to realised, in February I will start a semester in Paris in the framework of Erasmus, I will learn International Business Management in French  Being older  (or call it more mature as a euphemism ;) ) , I am not looking forward to parties at first, but campus life and new subjects in French and I would like to work, maybe as an Intern for OECD/Unesco.

I have dreams and ambitions again, after 3-4 years of misfortune and suffer, I am again able to believe in myself.

Chéri, I cannot tell you the gratitude I feel towards God, for all the love and blessing He has given to me. I am grateful for everything because I could learn from my mistakes, I gained experience and I hope I will have the necessary humility, because all Glory is His not mine, I am only a tool in His hands, but I hope I will be able to accomplish my missions and realise my desires with His help.

I am grateful for all people I met, for the wise thoughts you gave me during the years, for Peter, the love we had, the experience I have learnt from him, the ambitions he planted in  my heart. I am so grateful to have visited the Baltic states this summer and for having met the Christian group at Budapest Business School and to have become a member of IFES Hungary. J

Chéri, I want to tell everyone meanwhile this Advent, how good God is, how He forgives all our sins and mistakes and H gives us the chance and the power to restart our life.

As for your birthday, I wish to experience the miracles of God, successes in your professional life and happiness and joy in you private life!

All the best and God help you way just like he blessed mine