Paris vs. Poverty (or thoughts and the city)

I decided to write in English as this way my thoughts will reach more people. Those I regularly speak to know that recently I’ve been having diverse conflicts and problems about my dorm here and now I am struggleing with finding financial resources for the rent in May as I don’t think my parents possess suffisiant money for helping me.

Making a long story short, I decided to borrow from Peter (my ex with whom we are still friends)who has once offerred me his help and his money, so I told him the complexity of French administration (my family background he knows well) and asked him whether he could lend me some money in the beginning of May and replied if his exgirl friend (the owner of one of the most expensive and prestigious wedding dress salon in Bp) pays his loan back.

Then I became not angry but furious so we had a terrible debate as he can NEVER understand my point.

I feel completely indignant when I hear about those sort of „Sex and the city” women. She is quite rich, over 30, divorced, has multiple lovers and an expensive little doggie as companion.

Living in 120 sqaure meters alone (of Peter’s money of course), smoking and drinking like a university students, wearing expensice clothes, having about 40 pairs of shoes and KEEPS ON COMPLAINING on her miseries.And he told me he doesn't want to get her previous partner IN TROUBLE.

I just can’t stend these selfish wh*res!!!

Some people do not have money for food, particularly after the recession and she keeps on smoking and drinking and then spend gallons of money on tennis classes and botox injections for reparing her skin.

I have already written about fashion and I was criticizing the prize of luxury and social injustices that are unfortunately getting higher.

I just can’t stend that streets are full of beggars while these women are just collcting superficous things to make themselves happy and then just throw them away.

I get sick of this world, the glamour, the dust.

Inside the stilettos there are nothing but ugly, distorted legs and the face a fixed smile conserved with artificial methods.

I am getting more and more sick of this.

I love French and Scandinavian women who use no more make up then necessary who are feminine not only in high heels but also in sport shoes.

I wish one day I will also possess this „légér” attitude of French women, the „je m’en fous” about my complexities and just feel good myself in my own shape that I would  only influence my aptitudes with natural methods: vegetarian lifestyle, jogging, laughing, sunshine, good sleep and some cucumber for my eyes in exam period.

I just want to be myself, not copying others or competing with them, but to be free from old, bad habits. I hate being criticized for not eating meet by those who smoke expensive cigarettes and risking their own health. Western people are SO stupid. They just spoil their health and then just spend their salaries for getting their beauty back. And they commit all measures possible to maintain the image of youth and sexyness: they are no more having bath in maiden’s blood like Catherine Bathory but they are spending fortunes and risking their own health and often on credit. Recently, I am studying Economics and I have learnt that the 2008 crisis was a results of over-crediting and over-consumption. Well it could have been stopped if people give up competing and they try not to pretend a higher standard of living they can not afford from CREDITS. Moreover, while consuming ENOUGH and not more we need, the food problems of the world could be also solved or at least eased.

As for me, I consider myself selfish, whiny and always dissatisfied, who thinks she is the same time better and worse thene everyone else. I maybe egocentric as I always search both problems and solutions in myself, but I am also idealistic as I do hope that one day this will change and one day everyone will be able to learn from his/her mistakes and get to his/her limits and don’t want to be good for false ideals and companies hungry for profit from dissatisfaction (they may be the dementors of our ages) but just accept themselves and not take more as they need, but help those who are in need.